The other day my seven-year-old asked me: “Mommy, do you know why everyone loves you?” “What do you mean?” I said in reply. Well, she explained, “My sister, I, and Daddy love you because we can trust you. You always know everything and know what to do.”
What a great compliment.
But then I started thinking, “Is it really so great for me that my family loves me because they can rely on me for doing the right thing and having a solution for everything?”
As every parent knows, we know sh*&%$, really, so it’s more the appearance of knowing and of keeping cool.
But I am not really such a confident cool parent. Sometimes I scream my head off. Often, I watch myself getting lost in the demands of parenting chasing after one little accomplishment while watching ten others fall to pieces. Most of the time I feel completely inadequate.
Yet, my sweetheart daughter thinks I am great.
In a way, my daughter’s love for me makes her overlook the cracks, patches, and other imperfections and still feel secure in me being just what she needs.
Now if that is the case, perhaps I can try less hard to have it together all the time, tell my loved ones that I don’t really can be someone they want but that I need to be myself with all my flaws, insecurities, and selfish needs and they will still think I am great?
My teenage daughter knows I am not perfect and still loves me, so I guess there is a clue…
Perhaps this could be an insight for all of us. Rather than chasing after being someone who is perfect, loveable, needed, or some other kind of “success,” we should just be true to our own feelings and needs and let that person be and grow. If your kids think that’s cool, I bet you are on to something that is real and good.
Let me know what you think.